Touch My Face

Touch my face.
Just with your fingertips
No lips, no tongues
Just the tips of that which you use-
to explore, to experience, to devour
your world.
Not sex, just touch.
But my face explodes
I don't even know you, and I can't see your face
But I hear your voice
Feel your breath in my ear

I am drunk.
Not poetically, but seriously, really drunk
I am in a bar, on a back porch
This is not romantic
And I fight this lust for you

You are leaving...
going back in inside
The parts of me feel empty, loathing themselves
how we squandered the touch!
regret-how we only felt you before
distracted from the look of your face
come back
we'll look this time
pay attention to the face
not get so lost in the touch, that touch.

I turn to the railing
and touch the warm, soft wood
I lean on it for support
As my fingers explore, eyes find a distraction
search the sky for it
blink hard as the stars blur together
ah, that's nice- this is nice the mind coaxes
it's warm out here, and wet with mid June's humidity
it's arousing here, all by ourselves
we can do this alone
it's probably safer without him
we don't know where he's been

Fuck you she says
my vagina...she's spunky
we want him back
stop being reasonable, you always do that to us

mind ignores her, that ornery one down there
tells eyes to go back to the night sky
hands to occupy themselves, remember the smooth wood?
i wonder, is it oak or pine?
pine is indigenous to North Carolina so that would make sense....
yep definitely -shit
she won't stop aching
calling for, demanding everyone's attention
this is always how she wins, she as more nerve
come on she will whine
come on come on come on
i'm tired of it just being me and the hands
fucking hands
i know what they'll do
always the same thing
i need excitement, danger, a trip to the moon
i want to jump out of a plane, travel the world...
you know that time when we accidentally walked over the subway grate and our skirt flew up?
it should be like that...all the time.

She always does this, that cunt
if it was up to her,
that little bit of pride,
dignity that we wrapped up and put in the fridge,
under the bed
in our back pocket for later
for someone special...
it would be gone

He might not come back...ever
We sure aren't going after him
have some respect for yourself
the screen door creaks
god, i love that sound
the other sounds don't fade
they evaporate
they are sucked out
like he was a vacuum or a blackhole
none of my voices can bear to speak
We can't see him
recognize just the feeling of him in the night
everyone shuts up

The eyes stop wandering
hand stops stroking
We see the face, his face
Ah that is nice, there is a beard
the neck is very excited
yes please, say breasts, collarbones

The body shivers, stands on end, skin leading the way
like a foot
that was asleep but now must stand and walk
the whole of her feels that way-
in anxious pain
The face still numb a little from the whiskey
longs for the fingertips to arouse it again

She's throbbing now
can feel her own heartbeat below her waist
following the blood as it rushes, rushes
to the spot that can't wait
that is hungry
starving
for him
she is terrified he can see the throbbing
can sense the pulsing
at the very least, he must hear her heart

say something mouth
nothing.

the fingertips touch the face
right above the jaw
ah-cheeks say
The lips reach her lips
the tongue, her tongue
her hands remain on the wood
realize it doesn't matter what kind it is
they long to touch him
to experience his hair, neck, shoulders
but here they are stuck

the tongues move together
the beard caresses her chin
oh yes
the neck ignites
i knew that would be nice, the neck says
the body gives way in utter agreement
the hand catches the body as the knees forget to support
fortunately he is strong enough
and her arms draw around his shoulders

this is good, everyone agrees
the face still a little numb
the lips tingle awake
they dissolve into each other
drip off
hanging on only by lips and tongues
no longer mind, cheeks, hands, eyes, vagina
no longer him, her
overwhelmed
and one
with the wave that has swept them under
they are surrendered, dissolved into one

still she-
she can feel this
touch my face, she says