Criticism does not equal misogynism

Attention Carly Fiorina, John McCain camp, GOP at large: Just because democrats criticize Sarah Palin does not mean they are woman haters. Just because they are not willing to overlook her years of (not) experience and her far-to-the-right-yet-pretending-to-be-libertarian political persona, doe not mean that Democrats do not want a woman in the White House. What it does mean is that they care enough about this country to question those presented as its possible leaders. It means that they value the premise of a fair fight enough to hold McCain to the indellible standards for public office which he himself has set forwards. Finally, it means they value women highly enough not to patronize us by granting us a woman on the ticket.

Because that is exactly what Palin is: a gift. Despite the fact that she is currently being painted as the fruits of our labor, there is very little laborous about her presence on the Republican ticket. The fact that the party who has brought us some of the most established and perpetual criticism of affirmative action is now bringing us only the second woman to appear on a presidential ticket is both shocking and revealing. Shocking because Sarah Palin is a clear example of the colloquial understanding affirmative action and every way the policy has failed. She is a wildly innapropriate, if not completly incapable filler for a spot that might traditionally gone to a nice white male. At the same time, Palin's selection is particularly revealing of the opinions the party has always held of the affirmative action policy: less skilled and deserving minority takes the place of intelligent, hardworking, deserving white man and other intelligent deserving white men prepare to take up the slack or, in this narrative's Disney version, compassionately guide the women through the strange new world of education, corporate america, world leadership, (fill in the blank.)

The most offensive thing about Fiorina et al.'s blowing the sexist whistle is that it implies Palin can't take it. It implies that she needs protecting, and that she can't stand up with her Maverick running mate and defend herself. This just seems silly considering the women hunts bear or moose or whatever the hell else they let you shoot in Alaska. But it isn't just silly.

When I was growing up, I was the oldest by a good bit. I had a sister 6 years younger and a brother 11 years younger. I grew up with a relative repulsion to things that represented girlhood, partly because I found them unimaginitive and partly because I was friends with a lot of boys and I wanted to prove that I could hang. Anyone who was once a child knows that they can be cruel and that any weakness is one's armor leaves you vulnerable to attack. I was afraid that if I ever showed them that I was hurt, or that I couldn't spit and curse and sass along with the best of them, I would always be fighting my way back in.

There was a particular family I spent a lot of time with growing up: The Hortons. I am still very close to them and I am grateful for the impact they had on my life. It is the Horton family that I think of when I see the responses to Sarah Palin's critics by the McCain campaign. The Horton's had this thing called a "cut jar." The cut jar was a punishment technique instituted by Mr. and Mrs. Horton to make their 3 boys maintain at least a degree of civility at the dinner table. The rules were quite simple: verbally cut (ie: embarass, burn, insult) another occupant at the dinner table and you had to put money in the cut jar. The amount would vary, sometimes depending on the nature of the cut, usually starting at 25 cents. Often the cost of each cut would rise incrementally throughout the night as the boys became more unruly. It was at these spaghetti dinners that I learned that some cuts, in fact a lot of cuts, are worth the price.

I loved having dinner at the Horton's. My parents were not neccessarily strict and I enjoyed a degree of free speech in my house, but my brother and sister did not provide an adequate enough challenge for my craft. Also, though they loved me unconditionally, The Hortons did not have to love me, especially not the boys. Everytime I really came up with a zinger, I felt my stock rise. For every 25 cents, 50 cents, or dollar that I put in that jar, I became that much further towards establishing myself as a force to be reckoned with. And everytime someone verbally slapped me across the face and I didn't react, I felt that much closer to invincible.

I am sure that these dinners scarred me for life. That they taught me to close me self off to others' attacks on me and to go first to innappropriate humor when seeking refuge from awkward social situations in the future. However, I am willing to take that baggage because these dinners really taught me to stand up for myself. They taught me not to be intimidated and not to take other peoples' criticisms too seriously.

Maybe McCain's camp needs to let Palin come to dinner. If she is such a maverick let her stand up for herself.